I ... have... returned.
I promised to disect LOTR, so I shall. I know the quote above isn't Two Towers, it's the Hobbit, but appropriate and dramatic nonetheless. But, before we begin, I want to thank my sister for talking the time to do a google search and report in with 688 uses of "to blog or not to blog". That would be about 682 times to many.
Jumping right in to the Two Towers (TT), I will begin by saying I liked the movie. it was enjoyable and very well done, which means you have to be obsessive to nitpick - you can't just used blanket statements like "oh my god did that suck!" So, accepting it was good, on to the gripes.
First, Liv Tyler still can't act, and the importance given Arwen just to push a Hollywood love story gets my shorts in a bunch. But more importantly, in this film, they have Elrond give her a speech about going to the Undying Lands and giving up Aragorn, lest she become the equivalent of an Elven crone. This was amazingly out of character and nonsensical for Elrond to say. He is Elrond, descendant of not one but TWO marriages of man and elf. his grandparents are Beren and Luthien, of whom Aragorn sang in the first film. Beren was human, and Luthien gave up her immortality to save him and live as a mortal by his side. His other grandparents are Idril and Tour, Tour being a cousin of Beren. AND, his brother Elros gave up his immortality to be a mortal man, and became the first King of Numenor. The descendants of the Numenoreans are the men of Gondor, and their king in hiding is Aragorn. So Elrond knows damn well that part of his family's heritage is that connection with man.
I don't really like some of the changes the filmmakers have made, but I truely dislike when they choose to change a character or have them do something so amazingly against their make-up and the history of Tolkien's world. And, to top it off, nothing of any signifigance was gained by this sequence, except having an excuse to put Liv Tyler in the movie. And when leaving her out would have meant more time for...
them to fix my next complaint with a two minute scene! Let me set the stage: Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas are pursueing the Uruk-Hai who have Merry and Pippen captive. They follow the trail into Fangorn forest. There they meet a somnambulistic/amnesiac of a wizard. he says "oh yeah, your friends... I saw them a couple of days ago." They recognize him as Gandalf, wherapon he remarks, "yes, I was called that. Once. Back in the day. By my peeps" (alright, I know he didn't say peeps but it would have been cool. With his baggy clothes and change of gang colors, the way he points his staff at people and "pops" them around the room. Gandalf was a banger). Gandalf then says, "We be needed. Let's ride," and they all head off for Rohan.
Now these three guys spent like a week, day and night, chasing after the hobbits. And they don't ask Gandalf if they're okay? "So, you saw them two days ago. Where'd they go? Hmm? ARE THEY ALRIGHT?" No, they run off, la-di-da. If I spent like 150 hours chasing and tracking my friends, I would probably want to see them to make sure they're okay. Or at least ask. So they could have fixed that with like 10-12 lines, let them show they're concerned and the new zombie Gandalf could say," I left them with a friend."
And that friend is Treebeard the ent (the ents were cool. Must say, "they were cool"). They cut to ol' Treebeard when Gandalf and the Funky Bunch head to Rohan, and Mr. Ent (the name is Mr. Ent) says, "I promised Gandalf I'd keep you safe," Now, Treebeard had previously told the hobbits he was taking them to the "white wizard," and Gandalf has just found out his name. So, when did Treebeard find out the"white wizard" was Gandalf? Wouldn't Merry and Pippen have called him Gandalf when they saw him, thus reminding him of his name prior to Gandalf's meeting with the three amigos?
Continuity, clarity, and a nice chianti. I'm not asking for much.
Jumping right in to the Two Towers (TT), I will begin by saying I liked the movie. it was enjoyable and very well done, which means you have to be obsessive to nitpick - you can't just used blanket statements like "oh my god did that suck!" So, accepting it was good, on to the gripes.
First, Liv Tyler still can't act, and the importance given Arwen just to push a Hollywood love story gets my shorts in a bunch. But more importantly, in this film, they have Elrond give her a speech about going to the Undying Lands and giving up Aragorn, lest she become the equivalent of an Elven crone. This was amazingly out of character and nonsensical for Elrond to say. He is Elrond, descendant of not one but TWO marriages of man and elf. his grandparents are Beren and Luthien, of whom Aragorn sang in the first film. Beren was human, and Luthien gave up her immortality to save him and live as a mortal by his side. His other grandparents are Idril and Tour, Tour being a cousin of Beren. AND, his brother Elros gave up his immortality to be a mortal man, and became the first King of Numenor. The descendants of the Numenoreans are the men of Gondor, and their king in hiding is Aragorn. So Elrond knows damn well that part of his family's heritage is that connection with man.
I don't really like some of the changes the filmmakers have made, but I truely dislike when they choose to change a character or have them do something so amazingly against their make-up and the history of Tolkien's world. And, to top it off, nothing of any signifigance was gained by this sequence, except having an excuse to put Liv Tyler in the movie. And when leaving her out would have meant more time for...
them to fix my next complaint with a two minute scene! Let me set the stage: Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas are pursueing the Uruk-Hai who have Merry and Pippen captive. They follow the trail into Fangorn forest. There they meet a somnambulistic/amnesiac of a wizard. he says "oh yeah, your friends... I saw them a couple of days ago." They recognize him as Gandalf, wherapon he remarks, "yes, I was called that. Once. Back in the day. By my peeps" (alright, I know he didn't say peeps but it would have been cool. With his baggy clothes and change of gang colors, the way he points his staff at people and "pops" them around the room. Gandalf was a banger). Gandalf then says, "We be needed. Let's ride," and they all head off for Rohan.
Now these three guys spent like a week, day and night, chasing after the hobbits. And they don't ask Gandalf if they're okay? "So, you saw them two days ago. Where'd they go? Hmm? ARE THEY ALRIGHT?" No, they run off, la-di-da. If I spent like 150 hours chasing and tracking my friends, I would probably want to see them to make sure they're okay. Or at least ask. So they could have fixed that with like 10-12 lines, let them show they're concerned and the new zombie Gandalf could say," I left them with a friend."
And that friend is Treebeard the ent (the ents were cool. Must say, "they were cool"). They cut to ol' Treebeard when Gandalf and the Funky Bunch head to Rohan, and Mr. Ent (the name is Mr. Ent) says, "I promised Gandalf I'd keep you safe," Now, Treebeard had previously told the hobbits he was taking them to the "white wizard," and Gandalf has just found out his name. So, when did Treebeard find out the"white wizard" was Gandalf? Wouldn't Merry and Pippen have called him Gandalf when they saw him, thus reminding him of his name prior to Gandalf's meeting with the three amigos?
Continuity, clarity, and a nice chianti. I'm not asking for much.
