Pretender to the Crown
I am so glad Frodo left Bilbo's book behind when he went off on that boat with the elves. Elves! Why, Samwise Gamgee, who would ever think you would be so casual with dropping elves all over the place, willy nilly? Why, not your pa, Ol' Gaffer, that's for sure. Yes, I sure am glad I got this here book - There and Back Again & The Lord of the Rings. Frodo said, he said to me, "Sam, I was able to finish my tale. But there is still space in the book; space for you to tell the further tales of the Hobbits." Well, I'm no storyteller like Master Frodo, but maybe with the help of Merry and Pippen I'll be able to carry on. But first, I really ought to see what good old Frodo wrote about us.
Well, I'll be! This just won't do. I better get Merry and Pippen to have a look...
After a couple of pints at the Green Dragon Inn, we all decided Master Frodo took all the high drama and amazing feats of Hobbit derring-do out of his Lord of the Rings. "That just won't do," I said to Pippen, "Why, he forgot the part where I said, I said to him, 'Master Frodo,' I said, 'I may not be able to carry that there ring for you, but, pardon my language, but darn it all, I can sure as sure can carry you!' I said to him."
And Pippen, well, Pippen slammed his mug right down on the table and he said to me, he said, "You're right there Sam, right as rain," he said, continuing, "Why, he wasn't even in Gondor when I, with just my rubbery toes, climbed up the outside of the highest cliff/tower in the city and lit the beacon fire! We have to add that part in - him saying that the fires were lit before I even got there - why, to even think that any of them tall folk could do anything without us Hobbits!"
Merry then jumped up, crying out that Master Frodo had done him wrong. "I knew all along that the rider I was with from Dunharrow to Gondor was Eowyn," he said to me, "I could tell because of her, you know, scent..." I had to nod, knowing it was probably true. Why, Meriadoc Brandybuck is known all throughout the Shire for having a nose for a piece of tail.
Merry also said that as he was the one of us who was right in the thick of things out on the Pelennor Fields he should get to "add some color." "Frodo didn't talk about the cool stuff - like when Legolas cut the strap on that oliphaunt tower, and used it to go right to the top!" he said, with a crazed cross-eyed grin, "It was just like one of those stories ol' Georgie Lucas tells out at the Ranch. Though maybe we should leave out the part where good old Wedge - that's what the guys at Edoras all call Eomer - riding his horse, wrapped up that mumakil's legs with a rope and tripped him up."
I told the Fellows' - that being the short name Merry and Pip and I, Samwise Gamgee, use for Fellowship, you know - I told them I would take all their ideas and put 'em all in Frodo's book. And, I have to say, after making those changes, after putting in some of "the old whiz-bang" (as Gandalf, bless his heart, was fond of saying of his fireworks), it's almost a spectacle! Though, I got to say, as my Ol' Gaffer wouldn't have it any other way, that I did take a little liberty when it came to the elves. All elves, all the time! I'm just a sucker for elves. And Lady Arwen - Aragorn's old lady, nowadays - well, I always did wish she had played a part in our story. So I made up something about her being tied to the fate of the ring, yadda-yadda, and there it is.
Why Samwise Gamgee, you've done a good thing, even if you have to say so yourself. I can just see it - in the future, millions of people will think this is the true story of the Ring, and none will be the wiser.
Well, I'll be! This just won't do. I better get Merry and Pippen to have a look...
After a couple of pints at the Green Dragon Inn, we all decided Master Frodo took all the high drama and amazing feats of Hobbit derring-do out of his Lord of the Rings. "That just won't do," I said to Pippen, "Why, he forgot the part where I said, I said to him, 'Master Frodo,' I said, 'I may not be able to carry that there ring for you, but, pardon my language, but darn it all, I can sure as sure can carry you!' I said to him."
And Pippen, well, Pippen slammed his mug right down on the table and he said to me, he said, "You're right there Sam, right as rain," he said, continuing, "Why, he wasn't even in Gondor when I, with just my rubbery toes, climbed up the outside of the highest cliff/tower in the city and lit the beacon fire! We have to add that part in - him saying that the fires were lit before I even got there - why, to even think that any of them tall folk could do anything without us Hobbits!"
Merry then jumped up, crying out that Master Frodo had done him wrong. "I knew all along that the rider I was with from Dunharrow to Gondor was Eowyn," he said to me, "I could tell because of her, you know, scent..." I had to nod, knowing it was probably true. Why, Meriadoc Brandybuck is known all throughout the Shire for having a nose for a piece of tail.
Merry also said that as he was the one of us who was right in the thick of things out on the Pelennor Fields he should get to "add some color." "Frodo didn't talk about the cool stuff - like when Legolas cut the strap on that oliphaunt tower, and used it to go right to the top!" he said, with a crazed cross-eyed grin, "It was just like one of those stories ol' Georgie Lucas tells out at the Ranch. Though maybe we should leave out the part where good old Wedge - that's what the guys at Edoras all call Eomer - riding his horse, wrapped up that mumakil's legs with a rope and tripped him up."
I told the Fellows' - that being the short name Merry and Pip and I, Samwise Gamgee, use for Fellowship, you know - I told them I would take all their ideas and put 'em all in Frodo's book. And, I have to say, after making those changes, after putting in some of "the old whiz-bang" (as Gandalf, bless his heart, was fond of saying of his fireworks), it's almost a spectacle! Though, I got to say, as my Ol' Gaffer wouldn't have it any other way, that I did take a little liberty when it came to the elves. All elves, all the time! I'm just a sucker for elves. And Lady Arwen - Aragorn's old lady, nowadays - well, I always did wish she had played a part in our story. So I made up something about her being tied to the fate of the ring, yadda-yadda, and there it is.
Why Samwise Gamgee, you've done a good thing, even if you have to say so yourself. I can just see it - in the future, millions of people will think this is the true story of the Ring, and none will be the wiser.
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